Have you ever been around someone that is just habitually negative? Everything they say makes you think that the Universe is conspiring against them and there is a silent committee whose sole purpose is to wreak havoc upon their lives. Being around people like this is not only downright sad, but it can be truly draining! Your visits and interactions with them are limited, because anything longer sends you into a spiral of confusion and emotional tension. If you know someone like this, trust me, you are not alone! I’ve certainly had my fair share of encounters with people like this. However, what if the negative person is you? (Insert silence and clutching of pearls).
Toxicity by definition is stated as being the quality of being very harmful or unpleasant in a pervasive or insidious way. Where we’re often are able to callout others who fit this mold, have we ever been called out for the same? Have you had someone tell you about yourself and point out that your negative energy is less than pleasing? Having this happen to you came be a shot to the all-knowing heart! However, I can assure knowing a toxic person or even being a toxic person isn’t a death sentence. Depending on how choose to look at it, it can actually be quite the contrary. When you know you’re toxic, you have the opportunity to take the steps to work on yourself. Therapy, group counseling even a book club, can work wonders at allowing you to see the error in some of your ways. For when you know better, you can CHOOSE to do better.
Sometimes toxicity can manifest itself in a series of bad decisions that leave us feeling bad about ourselves and our decisions. The act of being toxic often looks like us being good to others, but being horrible to ourselves. Why are we like this? What causes us to be this way? For me, I can truly say that my own toxicity was years of down self-talk and believing the messages that had been downloaded into me for eons. Consistent self-depreciation became normal talk for me, but what I didn’t realize was I was pouring toxicity into everything I said and did and it wasn’t until recently I realized that I in fact, was toxic. I was being incredibly toxic to the one person I was supposed to be incredibly positive to – myself.
If you or someone you know fits any of this, don’t run for the hills. Please understand that like everyone, we all go through situations that cause us to become frustrated and angry. Our emotions get out of whack and we emit scenes of ourselves that don’t showcase us in the brightest light. When it comes to being toxic, you have to take accountability for it. It’s your actions that are questionable and cause harm. When you take responsivity for your toxic choices, it gives the people who care about you the space to be honest about how the things you do affects them whether positively or negatively. Remember, it isn’t your job control anyone but yourself. You can’t change someone that doesn’t see that a change needs to occur and sometimes the best way to continue loving someone is to love them from afar. If even that person is you.
Remember that light does the darkness fear and toxicity grows in darkness. Try your best to stay close to the things and people that feel like sunlight. Write down and say aloud positive affirmations and mantras that aim you towards the destination you’re heading for. Don’t forget that you are doing life and life isn’t doing you! You’ve made it this far and you have so many more amazing things to accomplish. Leave that toxic stuff behind, darling. Know that I love you, you’re amazing, but you’re also toxic. Let’s change that – together.
