Another Valentine’s Day is upon us and like many of you, I’m ringing this one in single as a dollar bill. What used to be a dreaded experience of watching couples going out to fancy dinners or guys scurrying the local markets to buy flowers that haven’t wilted and boxes of candy has now become quite a comical exposure. Allow me to explain.
This day, since its inception, has been one for men to become the romantic suitor that all rom-coms are made of. To pour out of themselves love, intimacy and financially to show their significant other that they’re the apple of their eye. These sometimes grand gestures of love and romance seem to have to top each and every year. The worry and sometimes outright fear to make this day perfect has plagued people for decades! How did we get here? How did every February 14th become the climax of all love stories? I’d like to tell you I know the answer, but I do not. However, what I do know is that Cupid isn’t as busy as I’ve seen him in previous years and I think he may have taken an early retirement.
When it comes to love and finding “The One,” I think I’ve become a bit cynical about it. The people that we fall for and ultimately decide to spend our days with are the ones we feel comfortable with, but are they the perpetual “Ones?” I can’t confirm nor deny, but I can tell you that I think there does come a time when we realize that in this world of 7 billion people, we have some options before we settle down and put in a final offer on a mate. I think the days of walking into a room or bumping into someone and knowing that they’re your person is very few and far between. I think what we have now are people who realize that dating and ultimately finding love is just as strategic and sometimes frustrating as any other part of our lives and in knowing this, do we give Ol’ Cupid the heave-ho or do we take some responsibility in the type of love that we want to have? Are we leaving our hearts up to fate and Cupid’s arrow or deciding for ourselves what we deserve?
For me, my most valuable asset is my heart and I’m not leaving that up to chance. I believe there are twin flames and kindred spirits, but I’m wise enough to know that they don’t always appear. I have the opportunity to decide what kind of love I want in my life. One of my favorite spiritual leaders Iyanla Vanzant, said something in a podcast once that has stuck with me. She said, “We don’t get to tell people how to love us. We get to see how they love and then decide if we want to participate in it.” By no means am I pushing good lovin’ away, but I’m more cognizant of what good love feels like for me. I give Cupid his props and pay homage to him! His job isn’t easy by a long shot! This Valentine’s Day, I think he can hang up his bow and arrow. Allow us to have a say in the thief that steals our hearts.
