We all do it sometime or another, and some more often than others, but we are all faced with the dreaded negotiations you have with ourselves that “this time will be different.”
You claim, “I am in control; I won’t overindulge, overspend, or overconsume this time.”
Then it happens.
You spend more money than you want. You overconsume calories at dinner. Or one that I am most familiar with is going to a party saying I’m only going to have a couple of drinks, to find out later you don’t recall much about the party.
Ugh! You probably can recall other situations like this.
I refer to this as the dreaded “over-the-top behaviors” that occur when you mask feelings of scarcity, sadness, guilt, shame, and fear.
I discovered along my journey, and while helping others, the key to controlling old behaviors is to plan before going into a situation where you tend to get derailed and go over the top.
Instead, allow yourself a moment to pause and create a mental image around what you want to receive from the experience, meaning what you will take away afterward: the joy, happiness, the laughter, the fun, and how you will remember how well you did staying focused on you.
Then allow a moment to release any troubles or worries from your mind by writing them down on a piece of paper, knowing you’ll come back to them, but for now, you’ll set them aside for the time being.
The intention is to be able to create a plan of action so you can fully engage at the moment without repeating the same “over-the-top behavior.”
Starting from a place of this mindset will release the subsequent day remorse, regret, or self-loathing. You’ll be glad you took the time to take action prior so you can feel happiness and joy that you controlled a situation that usually contains you.
And from this place of accomplishments and satisfaction, you can now go back to the paper that you wrote your troubles and worries and begin to find solutions to those situations and circumstances.
Creating new behaviors is worth celebrating. Keep shining!
